a story about willpower
A Story About Willpower & Mothering the Self
When my mom was a teen, she’d wake up early to prepare food and sell it at the Vietnamese market long before the sun came out. She’d report her earnings to her mom, and no matter how well she did, it was never enough. When she was a child, she’d walk to school on the old dirt roads and kids would pick these plants that had a Velcro-like texture that they would dart at her coarse, nappy, curly hair. The only way to remove it was to cut her hair off. She only made it to second grade.
My mom was born to an African American soldier during the Vietnam War. Considered Amerasians, these thousands of children were left unloved, bullied, abandoned, thrown in trash cans, sold, or left on the streets. Often called “Bui doi” or “dust of life” - they were considered “children of the dust”. Deemed worthless because they were half black or half white, half Vietnamese and half American, they often felt as though they were straggling between two worlds; not feeling like they belong.
After years of mistreatment, my mom gained respect from her family and neighbors when the Americans announced that they would allow more opportunities for Amerasians by becoming U.S. immigrants- even extending this opportunity to their families.
Within a few years of being in America, not knowing much English, cleaning toilets in high rise hotels -
I was born.
I never had to worry about going hungry. I graduated school from pre-k all the way to my Bachelors. I learned how to speak English, how to deal with people, how to shatter outdated systems, how to be daring, how to live and work in a way that’s true to my nature.
It started with my mom.
She didn’t have to know how she was going to make it. She just knew that she was willing.
Today I reflect on mothers not by viewing a mom as a mom, but by a mom as a human being. I reflect on the unthinkable they experienced long before we were born, the painful paths they walked, the silent traumas they still carry on their raw backs, the invincible inner strength and the surrender to be the instrument for our miraculous birth in the world.
I reflect on the Divine Mother that is this Earth. How she equips us with fresh water to drink, air to breathe, sunshine for warmth, plants and trees that keep us functioning.
There is no demonstration of willpower greater than the love a Mother has for her children or the way the Universal Mother has unconditional love for humanity.
Today, my friend, I invite you to remember you have it too. It’s not about being gifted, having the most money, being the most talented or liked- it’s about having the sheer willpower rooted in your love for something. It's about remembering the Divine Mother within. Back to the Origin.
The Divine Mother is nurturing, giving, full of mercy and grace. Mother's Day is also about how we care for and mother for ourselves.
Are we taking the time to slow down, reflect and devote ourselves to practices that strengthen our willpower and well-being? Are we nurturing our needs through our words and actions? Are we giving ourselves as much as we give others?
Whether it’s transforming your own life, transitioning your career, starting your own family or breaking old habits— you have the will inside of you that can move mountains. Each time I think of my own mom, I am reminded of this. I hope each time you see your mom, that you’ll remember this too.
Happy Mother's Day.
This blog post was taken from my weekly Being Human Newsletter
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